I just want it to slow down. I want to stop time and soak in every last second. I want to enjoy every last dip in the water, stroke on the bike and stride on the road. Even in the midst of two of the hardest and longest training weeks I’ll ever complete, all I can think about is how can I make it last longer? How can I better savor this moment?
I’m back on the Ironman high. I feel like the highs and lows come and go but this high, in particular, is an extra long and special one. This is also my last high. Soon I will begin my taper, which historically makes you question everything and go slightly mad, followed by the ultimate nervous nelly mode right before race day. So, for now, I will try to soak in every last drop of these feelings.
Somehow almost 365 days have whizzed by.
I can clearly remember the Michele in February who thought August would never come and the Michele is April who feared she wouldn’t be able to ever run pain-free again. I try to remember every moment because despite so many moments of doubt I’m here and I’ve fallen madly in love.
I’ve said that statement many times over the last couple months but especially now it couldn’t be truer. I’ve fallen in love with the process, with the grind, with the achievements, with the pain and mostly I’ve fallen in love with how much happiness I’ve gotten out of it. These last two weeks I’ve managed to look forward to every workout. I sing during my 5 am bike rides and prance down the road dancing mid run.
I’ve also managed to step back and look at everything I’ve accomplished and for once almost be in awe of myself. I can now swim 4.5km on a Wednesday night, bike 180km in a single day and just today was able to complete my first full hour of running at a rather quick pace (recall just 2 months ago I just restarted running with 2 minutes of jogging followed by 2 minutes of walking). I have truly transformed my body into a well-oiled machine while also finding a level of happiness I didn’t know could exist.
For every tear it has caused, the rewards I have gained have been ten fold. In all honesty, race day will simply be icing on the cake. Yes, it will be incredible. However, what is more incredible is that I’ve actually done it. I will have dedicated an entire year to one single thing. I say this as often as others will listen but I dare you to try it. Maybe it’s not an Ironman but it’s something else… improving a talent, writing a book, learning a new skill. Dedicate an entire year to one single thing. You’ll be amazed at how far you can go. I think you’ll also be shocked at how much of a difference doing something to improve yourself impacts so many other facets of your life.
I also write this post because in 3 weeks I will panic and start thinking of all the ways I am not ready. I will need to reread this post. Remind myself to trust the training I’ve done and go out there with as much passion, happiness, excitement, and terror, I have in this very moment.